Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Should I give my gay crush a 3rd try?

Okay, folks... It's complicated. It started almost 2 years ago. I went to school canteen and one time I noticed some guy seemed staring at me more often than he should. And after several more times, I figured he had a crush on me. We even sat quite close one evening, when the whole canteen was almost empty -- and it was 2 years ago, a Valentine's day. Then, I approached and talked to him once, to pass my contact note, but he seemed nervous and said he's not interested in "hiking" (which was what I suggested when first breaking the silence), So I shrugged and thought no big deal. But then, after that, he resumed those starings, sneakily at a corner. So over 1 year ago, I gave him a 2nd try, when we bumped into each other on the street. I gave him a note again, thinking he's smart enough to initiate a call. But he did not. I was annoyed. So I wanted to totally forget him. I disappeared from my usual haunts, I disappeared from where I go to meals. I avoided him from the distance. .... then, just months ago, I relaxed a bit, and went to dinner with friends as they took me along. And it's him again. I am sure if he really isn't interested, he needs not look at me at all, or even walk by or sit near. It's so fishy (and annoying, in a way). I really wish he's braver and more confident. He's always so shy before me (not a word like a man!) And I asked myself, if I still like him, and at this moment, I think yes, still to some extent. But I don't want this to be obsessive. It's not the point. Should I sit back and wait, or should I muster up some courage and ask him out (again!). I am getting old, and have been celibate for like 6 years (not a day of dating, not a hug). This loneliness is heavy to bear. I love God, but I do not know the answer. What to do? Thanks buddies.

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